I grew up in a house full of music. My parents were both accomplished musicians. My siblings and I all played a variety of musical instruments. There was a steady stream of students sitting at our living room piano or in a studio somewhere nearby plinking or quacking away on their instrument of choice with one or another parent giving patient instruction. When we were not subject to anybody practicing, teaching, or performing there was usually music coming from the ‘Hi-Fi’ in the living room. The station of choice was one of the local NPR stations that played tunes of the Classical persuasion most of the day, with brief breaks for news. When we were bored, we would make up stories to go along with the music that we were listening to; there was the one about the pageantry of a king giving a speech to a crowd of his loyal subjects; the one about brushing your teeth with rhythmic precision, and several more that I will not go into here, as that is a story for another day.
Earlier this week I received word from my Masters advisor that my thesis was complete and that I could print the final document. As I was reading those words, the horn call that introduces the second movement of the Brahms 4th Symphony began to play in my head. As I have been rehearsing this particular piece of music for a performance this weekend I was not surprised that it came to mind, but I was surprised at the feelings the combination of news and the music stirred up. I realized that this music perfectly illustrated what I had been doing the past months.
The first movement of the Brahms 4th is beautifully complex with an intertwining melody that returns repeatedly; kind of like the writing and rewriting I did. The music slides smoothly in and out and from one place to another and before you know it; you are back at the melody again. The final bars of the movement are triumphant, finishing so strongly that it feels as if that is the end – ah, the joy of submitting that final draft! Writing, re-writing, submitting and re-submitting my final project was intertwined in all aspects of my life for the better part of the past year; obviously, there was much joy when the final draft was submitted.
The second movement is dreamlike in nature - a very passionate and emotional dream. The horn call that starts the movement quickly succumbs to a smooth woodwind and string melody that takes you from a highly excited state to a place of relaxation. This illustrates the roller coaster of emotions I felt once I received word that I was finished. Could this really be true? Was it really done? Was I really going to graduate? Perhaps I should just take a nap. Just about the time that you think you have had enough dreaming; the third movement snaps you back to reality! The lively, dancing rhythms take you to a party where crowds of people are trying out new dance steps, swishing about in fancy clothes, and celebrating something really great that has just happened. Just listen to the laughter and happiness in this music and rejoice in the fact that everyone gets a chance to play. This lilting tune was exactly what I was feeling when I realized that yes! The project is complete!
Now what.
The fourth and final movement goes to a more serious place. For me (having not quite made it there yet) I am imagining the pomp and circumstance of my final academic ceremony; complete with regalia, faculty members on the dais, an audience filled with proud friends and family, a group of graduates, presentations, awards, and a realization of the years of work that went into accomplishing this goal. The form of the final movement is a chaconne or passacaglia, which is more simply known as a theme and variations. I think that is a perfect illustration of an academic ceremony – each person may have the same degree being conferred, but the emphasis and path to that degree are different for every individual. Theme = degree | Variation = path each person took to get there.
As I wrap up both my time in graduate school and the season with my orchestra I realized this particular week has held a mixture of joy and exhaustion; the same barrage of emotions that I feel at the end of the Brahms. With all the changes going on around here; perhaps a dose of Brahms was exactly what I needed.
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